We asked the GEICO Caveman to clear up a few things for our readers.

So everyone wants to know, who are you and where did you come from? Where did I come from? Is that how you start all your interviews? I doubt it. I come from the United States, man. The more important question is, where did we all come from?

What’s the politically correct term? Cro-Magnon? Neanderthal? Neo sapien. But caveman is fine. Neanderthal? Don’t ever. That word has been hijacked to figuratively mean someone who is unrefined, unintelligent and uncouth. Obviously, I’m none of those things.

You seem to prefer an upper-class lifestyle with your affinity for racquet sports and roast duck. Where did your high-falutin’ taste come from? Way to stereotype the upper-class as duck-eating tennis nuts. Either way, I wouldn’t call playing tennis high-falutin’, unless you’re like, Oliver Twist or something.

What’s the message you’re trying to get across to America? I don’t have a message. But there are people out there spreading messages about me. Problem is, none of them are true. You know, if Tommy Cruise doesn’t have to tolerate it, why should I?

To read more about the GEICO Caveman, pick up the latest winter issue of one. a magazine.

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